Dear Weak-Armed Neighbors

Dear Weak-Armed Neighbors,
     I've noticed lately that no one but me can seem to heave my trash bags into the dumpster.  Tonight as I took over a plastic bag full of my dog's crap, I saw a whole bunch of garbage stacked and scattered around.  I thought to myself "UH OH, the dumpster's probably full! Whatever will I do with this bag of shit?!"  But I took a little peeksy inside just to make sure and...EMPTY!

     So, dear neighbors, the only reason I can come up with for you to set your trash mere inches away from the container that it's supposed to go in is lack of upper body strength.  I suggest you invest in P90X or maybe just start lifting yourself off of the couch.

Thanks,
     Shannon


Note: This is not the same as this.  These are real people, and I plan on sending them this letter. Just kidding. But seriously.