Haterz

Here's a new game: Look on Facebook or on any trending Twitter topic to see how many people reference their "haters" (often "haterz"). That's the end of the game. Now let's talk about these people.

First, here's UrbanDictionary.com's definition of a "hater:"

Hater- A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

So, a key part of having haters is to be successful. But a lot of people miss that part. They seem to think the definition works in the inverse as well: Have haters and you'll be successful.

But that's actually NOT the way it works.

Here is a list of things you must have to actually have haters:

1. Money
2. More money
3. A full time job (see also 1 and 2)
4. Friends that actually like you
5. Probably a full-time staff
6. A degree of fame that amounts to no less than Antoine Dodson's 

Using this criteria, here are examples of people that have haters:

Now, here are some pictures of you, the people that don't have haters but think that if you pretend you do, it must mean you're successful:

See how that works? Presidents and internet sensations have haters. Fast food workers and Facebook idiots don't.


-Eddie Scarry, guest blogger
author of Red Line Items