Small Talk

There's a time and a place for small talk.

JUST KIDDING.  I hate it.  If you don't hate it, you should.  If you engage in it, you should stop.

That being said, I was sitting in a waiting area today (the location will be hidden to protect the idiot), where I witnessed THE MOST horrible small talk in the history of tiny talkings.

Ya know, I'm not even going to call this small talk.  This woman was just BLABBING RANDOM FACTS to the woman sitting next to her.  Thank god I was so involved with typing them all into my phone that I wasn't dragged into it.  Because they are so juicy and delicious, I'm just going to list them for you.  No creative writing here, ladies and gents:

• She started off telling the woman that she was the only fair-skinned woman in her family.  All of her brothers and sisters had super dark skin.  "You should SEE our family photos!!!"
• This was a nice segue into her heritage, which was Irish-German.  Good to know.
• Next, she announced that she was newly single, and had gone on her first date last weekend.
• There was about a minute of silence, then she spat "I used to be a size 26!!" and discussed her current "six meals a day" eating plan.
• Following that, she begins to talk about how she's going back to school FINALLY after having her 2 kids.  She used to want to be an archellologist, ya know.
• Somewhere between wanting to be an archellologist and having those kids, she was a greeter at DOLLYWOOD because "she looks like Scarlett O'Hara." (Hint: NOPE)
• After her Gone With the Wind stint, she was a BALLROOM DANCER.  
• Her ballroom dancing partner ended up being her lover.  Alas, he left her, and now she listens to a particular Kenny Chesney song every morning to motivate herself out of bed.
• FINALLY she asks the woman she's talking to something about herself: "Where are you from?"  The woman replies, "Charlotte, originally."  She then proceeds to tell her that her baby daddy was KILLED IN CHARLOTTE.

The end.  Please keep in mind all of this was in a ten minute span.  The woman she was talking to was a COMPLETE STRANGER.  It only ended because her name was called to go back to THE SECRET LOCATION. 

Please, please, PLEASE, never infect someone like this.  NO ONE CARES!