ATMs for Dummies

Isn't it just UNCANNY how every time you go to the ATM machine, you wind up behind someone who is using it for the VERY FIRST TIME?  I mean, what are the odds of that!?

Seriously, though.  As I sit behind these people taking their SWEET ASS TIME, I wonder:  which options are giving them trouble?  Is it choosing between:

• English or Spanish?
• Deposit or withdrawal?
• CHECK OR CASH?

I mean REALLY!  I'm pretty sure that gorilla who knows sign language could figure this one out.  

And what about those people who drive up and realize they're too far away? They will pull some CIRQUE DU SOLEIL SHIT, twisting and turning out the window before they open that car door!

THE NERVE!